***As I write this Colonel's Pita Driti and Tevita Mara are holding 9mm handguns at my head***
The editor of this incredibly useless news service has returned after an extended stay at numerous RFMF barracks and Fiji Police prisons. I would like to say that I was treated very well by the RFMF and Teleni's 'boys and girls'. They fed me well, let my missus visit for conjugal purposes and extended the courtesy of human rights. I don't why I've been writing such guff against the Interim Government. They really are nice guys.
***This editorial has continued outside of my recent holiday and I believe the Military Council...I mean Interim Government is not snooping around***
Anyway back to business.
Since I have returned after my wretched couple of weeks in custody, I have learned of quite a bit of upheaval in Fiji. Strikes, counter strikes, counter counter strikes and the rest. When will it end? I suppose when the Interim Prime Minister gets his final paycheck which is apparently quite healthy looking.
I pay particular attention to the strikes by the nurses. The esteemed nurses of Fiji are responsible for looking after the sick and infirm. They have a tough job as it is and have specialist skills which cannot be replicated.
This leads me to believe this is all part of the 'militarisation' of Fiji. But what would make these soldiers most likely from the 3FIR don tiny little white nurses dresses and perform open heart surgery using M16's and bayonets. A secret desire to cross dress? I believe so. It has been well known of the desire by the military big wigs such as Bainimarama, Driti, Leweni (in particular) and Mara to wear white dresses and the hats with the little red cross.
But on to more important matters. What can Fiji do to get back to normality? Using the nurses as an example, a compromise can be reached. Fiji Nub News is also acting as a quasi negotiator in these troubling times. We have come up with a even compromise that I believe is fair.
Our view is that the nurses should not get their pay back. However in return for the permanent deduction of pay, the nurses are allowed to administer free colonoscopy's to members of the Interim Government for as long as they are in power. Oh and the kicker which we believe evens up the situation is no sedation and the nurses have compulsory power to request a colonoscopy off members of the Interim Government whenever necessary.
Fair. We think so.
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3 comments:
Haha - bloody brilliant - vinaka news nub -
Now especially for the benefit of Lewenski I am going to include a description of what a colonoscopy is:
It is "a flexible fiber-optic instrument inserted through the anus in order to examine the colon"
Pronounce it slowly Neumi .... and u know what Newsnub, it's going to come out as :
Tho-Lo-Noz-Thom-Bi
Wailei taciqu ! Sa Dri Yani - its a noun
hahahahahahahahahaha
We might need to give Teleni a endoscopy to find out what he eats. I thought there was a weight limit for those in the Navy and Police.
In response to your comments about Leweni's pronunciation. It's not his fault he's been a blower all his life (except since December 5). Although the dentist wouldn't have a problem examining him since he would be in the middle of an "aaaahhhh" most of the time.
oilei nub news....you kill me.....hahahaha!
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