Letters to the editor

This news service doesn't get much in the way of letters since we are probably the worst news organisation in the world.

But we did get an indignant letter from one "Nikhil Singh" from Sydney. Apparently he's a former journo from Fiji who found himself a nice Australian girl. His new missus also likes the Interim Prime Minister because he bought hotel prices down in Fiji to levels she could afford. A match made in heaven.

Anyway here we go.

Dear Fiji Nub News,

You corrupt, nepotistic fuckwits. Why do you like Qarase so much? I think I know. He paid your news service with some scam. I'm going to get Driti to rearrange your pretty faces before he becomes High Commissioner for Malaysia. Or the FICAC torture king, I mean Commissioner for FICAC. Depending on these bullshit attempts by human rights people to get him a raw deal. I mean come on, we should be able to make mistakes. Except Fijians and people like Qarase.

You should report something thats fair to all. Like how Mahen is god or how Bai pays me a nice commission to lobby over here in Australia. Those sort of things are good for Fiji. I reckon you should also hire me and I can help clean up your news service. I can write stories about how Bai will take Fiji to glory in the Rugby World Cup. Or how Major Neumi Leweni is just the best orator in the world. God I love that guy, he's such a doll.

Anyway my girlfriend and I are going to Fiji because the rates are so damn cheap. Just like me. Oh shit I wasn't supposed to write that. I'll make sure that gets deleted later.

Nikhil Singh
Sydney, Australia

Note: Fiji Nub News advises all letter writers and potential journalists not to write everything you think into a letter. It's just too much for some of us.